


That's Fucking Teamwork

by HagSpice



Category: South Park
Genre: Humor, M/M, Masturbation, References to Sex, Rimming, Smut, South Park Kink Meme, Superheroes, boys being dumbasses, bratty Craig, whiny Tweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 17:05:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15610929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HagSpice/pseuds/HagSpice
Summary: When the Freedom Pals meeting becomes unbearably tedious, Super Craig and Wonder Tweek sneak off to do something much more interesting.For a SP kink meme prompt from Tumblr.





	That's Fucking Teamwork

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet baby Moses, this prompt made me cackle in delight. I love any chance for the boys to sass each other and be dumbasses.
> 
> The prompt: 
> 
> "Wonder Tweek and Super Craig decide to cuddle in the coon lair while the guys come up with their next big plan. One thing leads to another and Craig ends up eating out Tweek (who moans like no tomorrow, probably begging a shit ton for penetration) Before they can get down and dirty for real, Mysterion kicks in the door to the room, and on behalf of the others request just yelling something like "YOU GUYS CAN FUCK LATER, WE’VE GOT SHIT TO DO AND YOU’RE TOO LOUD"

“You w-want us to sponsor a little league b-buh-b-baseball team?” Fastpass raised his eyebrows, genuinely intrigued.

Toolshed, however, was having none of it. “No. No way. I am not spending my summer watching baseball.”

The Coon pointed an artificial claw at his comrade. “We don’t have to watch the games, just print our logo on the uniforms, dumbass!”

Craig shuffled his feet under the conference table and groaned. Next to him, Tweek had his chin in his palm and his pale green eyes looked glazed over. Flopping his head onto Tweek’s shoulder, Craig smushed his face into the blue sweatshirt. “Babe, I’m so bored,” he mumbled into the fabric.

Tweek sighed and leaned into Craig. “Me too. Why do they have to argue about everything?”

The arguing continued, but apparently, The Coon was gaining traction; even Tupperware was warming to the idea. “It would be great publicity, and the people in this town are too stupid to recognize pandering when they see it.”

“But is it really helping those in need? _Buzz Buzz_.”

Call Girl held up their hands in surrender and clucked their tongue, “I hate to agree with The Coon, but it _is_ a public service; the funds go the city parks department, and it benefits the youth of South Park.”

Cracking an eye open, Craig glanced around the room until his gaze landed on the door at the back of the basement. “Hey, Tweek,” he whispered, “Let’s take a break.” Craig nodded his head toward the door and looked to his boyfriend for confirmation.

“Thank you, Call Girl and Tupperware,” The Coon was incredulous to have have the support of the two most skeptic members. “We need more brand recognition. If everyone sees the ‘Coon and Friends’ logo on the jerseys-”

Mysterion harshly slapped his palm on the table in response. “ _Freedom Pals_. For the last time, we’re the Freedom Pals.”

As the bickering escalated, Craig saw their chance and took his boyfriend’s hand, leading him to the small laundry room. Noticing a stack of freshly folded towels on top of the dryer, Craig sat them on the rug and sprawled himself on the floor. Tweek closed the laundry room door and looked around dubiously, most likely creeped out by the unfinished basement walls and what could possibly ooze or wiggle its way between the cement blocks. 

“Babe, come lay down,” Craig said in the sweetest voice he could muster. He dropped his head onto the fluffy cotton stack and extended a hand to Tweek, who reluctantly clasped it and settled down against his side. As Tweek nestled himself half on top of Craig and half on the rug, Craig scrolled through his phone with one hand and cupped Tweek’s ass with the other. He absently rubbed his fingers over his boyfriend’s rump as he quickly became bored with social media. Laying his phone on the floor, Craig stared at the ceiling and sighed. “Ugh, why do they have to keep arguing? We could be doing something interesting.” Tweek only responded with a contended hum while Craig continued to pet him.

Craig raised an eyebrow and glanced at his boyfriend. Tweek’s sweet little sound had sparked an idea, and idea that would definitely make things more interesting. Applying more pressure, he continued to knead his fingers into Tweek’s plump cheeks. Craig felt his cock twitch when Tweek made another pleased sound and nuzzled further into him. Considering his foundation laid, Craig dipped his hand lower, to the bottom of Tweek’s ass and pushing between his thighs. As the fingers massaged his balls, Tweek stirred and looked up at Craig sleepily. “Craig?”

Craig smiled slyly. “Tweek, I thought of something we can do to pass the time.”

Gasping cheekily, Tweek propped his chin on Craig’s chest and looked at him in curiosity. Craig pushed his fingers further between Tweek’s legs and gave his stiffening cock a squeeze. Tweek’s eyes widened in understanding- he looked positively delighted. With astonishing speed, Tweek hopped onto his knees at Craig’s side and grinned down at him. “Craig~ does this have any correlation to us being in a _laundry_ room?”

Craig placed a finger over Tweek’s lips and purred, “Tweek, be a dear and take off your pants.”

 

“ _Fuck_ , Craig!” Tweek moaned. He had been moaning and making little noises of pleasure ever since Craig placed his mouth between his thighs. Tweek was always loud during sex, he didn’t really understand the concept of volume control. Not that Craig minded.

Craig new he was great at oral, he actually made a point to be so. He loved hearing Tweek demand him to put his tongue inside, the way Craig demanded Tweek fill him him with his cock. 

“Stop teasing, you dick,” Tweek whined. 

Tweek was full-on pouting. Craig half expected him to stomp his foot like Veruca Salt. He would never hesitate to admit that he loved it when Tweek begged; he fucking lived for it. It was a wonderful way to even the score a bit for all the times Tweek reduced him to the whining, pleading cockslut he was. “You’re so needy, aren’t you?”

Tweek whined in frustration. “ _Ngh_ Fuck you, Craig.” 

“Yes, I’d like that very much, Tweek.”

“ _Grrrh_ just stick your tongue inside me, already!” Tweek’s tics were coming out, which meant he was reaching the point of break. Craig had two choices; give Tweek what he wanted, or keep being a little bastard and deal with the consequences.

“Not if you’re going to be rude about it.” His used his dry tone, insinuating he was ambivalent on the matter, but they both knew Craig was just being a teasing shit.

Now Tweek was unbelievably horny _and_ pissed off. “When we get home, I’m gonna rail your ass raw, Craig. I’ll wreck you until you cry like the little bottom bitch you are.”

Craig gasped in feigned shock. “You’d do that in front of our son? How could you?!”

“Stripe’s had to see you masturbate a million times. If that didn’t scar him, nothing will.”

“Well, with that attitude, I’m definitely not letting you come.”

“ _Rrrggh_ we’ll see about that! I’m gonna come all over your stupid face.”

It was too easy to tease Tweek during sex; he was usually so bossy and impatient, it didn’t even require much effort. Craig shrugged and gave his hole a teasing lick. That wasn’t much of a threat, he actually liked it when Tweek came on his face.

Tweek squinted as he tried to think of something better. After a moment, his eyes flickered with mischief. “Then I’ll do it on your hat!”

Craig lifted his head and sucked in a harsh breath in disbelief. Giving Tweek a fiery glare, he ground out, “You wouldn’t dare.”

Tweek flashed him a triumphant smirk while he stroked his leaking cock, “You wanna bet?”

“Not if I come first, bitch! I’m gonna get it all over your hair and rub it in so it looks even more fucked up than usual,” Craig taunted, widening his knees and pulling his half-hard dick out of his pants.

With a snarl, Tweek lunged and pushed Craig on his back. They growled at each other and wrestled across the rug as they fought for dominance, both still trying to jerk off. After a minute, Craig wound up on top of Tweek and pinned his hands to the floor. Tweek continued to writhe and wriggle below him, determined to break free and gain control. As Tweek’s bare erection rubbed against his own, a groan rattled in Craig’s throat, and they both looked down in realization. They burst into laughter, noticing that now they were just grinding their dicks together. Craig shook his head and leaned down to kiss Tweek’s neck. “You’re a spoiled little shit, you know that?” he mumbled against Tweek’s pulsing skin.

Smiling up at him, Tweek wrapped his legs around around Craig’s hips, and bucked against him. “And whose fault is that, huh?”

“Honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The room suddenly filled with light as the laundry room door burst open. Both boys jolted in surprise to see the dark silhouette of the intruder who so rudely interrupted them.

Craig scrambled to pull his pants over his bare ass and draped himself across Tweek’s naked hips. “What the fuck, dude?!”

Stepping into the doorway, Mysterion scowled down at Super Craig and Wonder Tweek as he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t care how good Craig is at eating ass, or who’s coming on what. YOU’RE BEING. TOO. LOUD. Put your dicks away and get the fuck out here, we have shit to do.”

Tweek looked up at Mysterion and smiled coyly. “You know, you _could_ come in here and join us….” Craig stared at Tweek in awe. Bless the kinky, impish blonde below him.

Mysterion narrowed his eyes and muttered something under his breath before turning around and slamming the door. Craig smirked as an idea struck him. “I wanna fuck with them a bit, follow my lead.” Tweek quirked an eyebrow, but nodded just the same.

Crawling near the door, Craig conjured his best awkwardly robotic monotone. “OH TWEEK. YOUR ASSHOLE TASTES _SO_ GOOD. IT SHOULD BE A FLAVOR OF BEN  & JERRY’S ICE CREAM. PLEASE, SIT ON MY FACE FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.”

Tweek clamped his hands over his mouth to smother his giggles. God, they always had so much fun. He silently thanked the morons of this redneck town for pushing the two of them together all those years ago. Once Craig finished his poetic overture, he winked at Tweek, prompting him to take over.

“ _Ohgodohjesus, Craig~_ That’s it, lick every inch of my little boycunt! It’s so much _pressure_ , but feels so so good.” Tweek paused to make some porn star-tier moans. “I am America and you are Columbus. Discover me, Craig! Discover me!” If you ignored the utterly cringeworthy words, Tweek sounded pretty damn convincing.

Craig shook his head in disapproval. “Tweek, that’s ignorant. Columbus didn’t ‘discover’ America.”

Tweek pressed their foreheads together and grinned with glee. “Shut up and make me come, Craig.”

**Author's Note:**

> I shamelessly stole the “discover me” bit from the movie "Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion". I didn’t feel like changing it; Columbus has such a better flow than Pizarro or Von Humboldt. Eh, sue me. Please tell me someone gets that reference?


End file.
